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I’m very confused by this Godiva commercial with a backwards heist and a horse

This is definitely SFW but honestly that doesn't mean you should watch it

Author

Tristan Willis
February 25, 2026

A blonde white woman in black leather handgs over an array of lasers in a museum. She holds a bag of Godiva chocolate.

And Lady Godiva VII (presumably) said, Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that leaveth a pillar in the museum, and keepeth it empty, for he will receive great riches indeed.

And the seventh Godiva dropped from the glass ceiling, almost pouring out her parcel into the gold lasers; and there came her great voice out of nowhere, because it was a voiceover, saying, This is the ultimate standard.

And there were flips and splits and jumps, and there was a great display of chocolate in an art museum, such as was not since I don’t know, probably never outside of dedicated chocolate museums, of which this museum was clearly not one.

And one piece was divided into two parts as the seventh Godiva took an unnecessary and frankly foolish pause to eat a chocolate herself. In the middle of the museum. That she was breaking into. To leave chocolate behind?? On an empty, preset pedestal that looked especially prepared for this very purpose.

And then she walked out the front door and fled away, on a FUCKING HORSE. So, to be clear here, she dropped into a museum from the ceiling, traversed a bunch of lasers, to leave chocolate behind (except for one piece she bit into), then finished her great getaway on a BRIGHT WHITE HORSE in the middle of the night, making sure to let down her hair for a nice logo shot at the end.

And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, a hail made of chocolate: The only masterpiece you can taste.